Joy and Agony of Preaching

I have no idea how many sermons I have preached in my 30 years of ministry. There is no way for me to figure out how many hours of my life have been spent studying, reading, listening, and writing in order to preach those sermons. What I do know is that every week of my life as a pastor, preaching is both my greatest joy and my greatest agony.

It is my greatest joy because nothing really compares to the satisfaction of hearing God speak in His word, of having the Holy Spirit illuminate the truths of Scripture, and of having the honor of standing before God's people and to proclaim the glorious Word of God. There is something powerful and joyful that happens when God's people gather to hear God's Word. Each Sunday morning when I rise to preach, I open my sermon by saying, "Take your Bibles and turn to..." Then I hear the rustling of pages turning from passage to passage, and I look into the faces of dozens of trophies of grace, and I watch the saints nod in worshipful agreement with the text, and I get to witness the eyes of the blind opened by the Spirit through the work of the Word. How can this not be a great joy to me?

I agree with John Bunyan, who said of preaching in his autobiography, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners: "...my heart hath been so wrapped up in the glory of this excellent work, that I counted myself more blessed and honoured by God by this than if He had made me the emperor of the Christian world..."

This same Bunyan also said, "In my preaching I have really been in pain, and have, as it were, travailed to bring forth children to God." It is joyful, and painful, this work of preaching.

I know a lot of my pastor friends who are depleted after they preach. Many state that they are physically and emotionally spent. Some descend from the pulpit discouraged, self-critical, and exhausted. It is hard work. Incredibly hard. But most Sundays, after the final amen, I'm exhilarated. I have this rush of energy, this sense of joy, and this feeling that if I had to, I could immediately preach another sermon. Now, Monday is different. That's when I experience the adrenaline dump. But, on Sunday, standing in front of God's people with an open Bible and a few notes, proclaiming a message of good news, showing how Jesus is the subject, song, and point of the Scriptures provides great joy for me. I very rarely take a Sunday nap as I feel very "up" after preaching the Sunday morning services, attending my Bible Fellowship class, and engaging with hundreds of saints in fellowship and conversation after the service. If we don't eat lunch after church with friends or a visiting family, I usually come home, change clothes, eat a little, then sit in my den watching TV and reflecting on how thankful I am to the Lord that He would call me to this great and noble task of preaching His Word and serving His people in the local church. I really cannot imagine doing anything else that would bring such continual joy to my soul.

But getting to that point is agony. Seriously. Every week.

This may not be every pastor's experience, but it definitely is mine. The joy of proclaiming God's Word on Sunday is preceded by the agony of preparing the message the week before. Real agony. The kind of struggle that makes me want to quit sometimes, that pummels my soul, that batters my mind. I liken it to having to research and write a major term paper in college, which involves hours of reading, studying, and writing, then having to give an oral presentation in front of hundreds each and every week. It can be a torturous, agonizing task...every single week.

I think I have figured out why. First, there is a weight to preaching that scares me. James 3:1 says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." There are ample warnings to the church in the New Testament to watch out for false teachers, for those who are in the church, but who are unfaithful to the truth. There were people who were "teaching for shameful gain what they ought not teach" (Titus 1:11). The early Christians were continually warned not to be carried away by empty philosophy and false teaching. Paul seems to indicate that the greatest danger to the church wasn't persecution from without, but false teaching from within.

The last thing I ever want to do is approach the task of preaching in a flippant manner, thinking that it is nothing more than a motivational moment, an opportunity for me to inspire, or seeing it as part of creating an emotional environment that creates some sort of experience for people. I am too afraid of casually thinking that way about preaching. I recognize the seriousness, the weightiness, the awesomeness of the task...and most weeks I agonize under it. I live in constant fear that I will use the Scripture to support my ideas, or worse, replace the truth of Scripture with my own interpretation.

Which leads to the second reason for my agony--each week sermon preparation is an intense wrestling match for me. I wrestle with the text, pouring over word meanings, cross references, context, commentaries and other resources. Some say that writing sermons is both an art and a science. To me it is an exhausting wrestling match, and not just with the text. I have to wrestle against distractions, my own laziness, as well as my own selfish heart. The more I get into the text, the more the text gets into me and I have to wrestle against my pride, hard heart, and sin as the text does its work in me before I ever preach it to others. 

What this means day to day for me is that the sermon is never out of my mind. Every activity, conversation, commute for work or period of rest is affected by a simmering sermon. I never go to bed with a clear mind, but always one that is turning over words and phrases, potential outlines, and searching for an illustration that will drive home a certain point. The sermon is always there. The result of this is that most Saturday nights that I go to bed worn out from a week of wrestling, only to agonize in my sleep over whether or not I have it right, or that I did enough, or that it honors the text enough.

Finally, it is war. Every week when I sit down, open my Bible, and begin to start my study for the sermon, I am ever aware that I have an enemy who hates Jesus, the church, the truth, and those who deliver it. As I am jotting down notes and ideas from the text, I will sometimes become aware of my inadequacies. I will suddenly be reminded of past or present sins that are filled with guilt and shame. There will be tension in my home. I will sense a creeping discouragement coming upon me, or maybe even waves of doubt. My heart idolatry will rage against me. But I know what it is--it is a war, a real, spiritual war each and every week in my study.

I have never prepared a sermon without this great agony. But I am grateful for it. Truly grateful.

This agony has taught me to pray in ways that I otherwise wouldn't have learned. It has taught me to discern the difference between flesh and Spirit when I'm studying or preaching. It has forced me to trust in the illumination of the Spirit. It has humbled me, and reminded me to get out of the way. It has shown me the importance of rest, and proven to me that God is able to take my meager attempts at preaching and use them for His purposes. And it has prepared me to fight well for the glory of God each week in my heart and in my study.

I go to bed each Saturday with my sermon done, and my mind battered and bruised from the battle. But when I wake up on Sunday, the light of joy begins to dawn as I realize that in just a couple of hours I will humbly stand before God's people, leading them to rejoice in the good news of Jesus as shouted from His Word. The agony is worth the joy.

Saturate Your Minds!

A couple weeks ago I started a new sermon series at church through the book of Colossians. If you are interested, you can find the sermons here.   This past Sunday we spent some time looking carefully at 1:9-14, which is the second part of Paul's prayer for the believers in the church at Colossae. His prayer request for them is clear: "to be filled with the knowledge of His will..." In the context, Paul thinks of God's will not in an individualistic sense, like some sort of personal itinerary for our lives, but in a redemptive sense. God's will is that sinners will come to Christ, that through Christ God will reconcile all things to Himself (1:20). In other words, you can substitute the phrase "God's will" for the word "gospel" to get the sense of the verse.

Paul is praying that believers will be filled will knowledge concerning the gospel, concerning God's redemptive work in the world. This knowledge is not just fact; it is a personal encounter with truth. It is something you know and feel, something that informs you and moves you.

The word "filled" can mean "to saturate," so I take Paul's request to mean that we are to saturate our minds in the truth of the gospel. We are to constantly be meditating on, studying, pondering and considering the good news of Jesus Christ. We will never get to the bottom of the well of gospel truth. The gospel is like a multi-faceted jewel; the more you turn it and study it, the more you realize there is so much more to know.

I challenged our folks to saturate their minds in the gospel. But how does that happen? The answer is rather simple--by exposing our minds to the gospel. We do that by reading and studying the Bible rightly, not by looking for life principles to make life work better, not by making the characters of the Bible heroes for us to emulate, and not by searching for secret mysteries that take us to deeper levels of spirituality. The Bible has one overarching story that it tells from Genesis to Revelation, and that story is about how the God of the Bible redeems sinners through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. In other words, the Bible is all about the person and work of Jesus, or the gospel.

So, if we are going to saturate our minds in the gospel then we are going to have to give ourselves to the reading and studying of Scripture. This should happen both individually and communally. We need to cultivate the discipline of personal Bible study, but we also need to make sure that we are reading and studying the Bible in the context of our faith community. This means we should sit under the preaching of the Word when the saints gather to worship, and we should be connected to a small group where the Bible is studied.

But we also need to give ourselves to reading good books that encourage us in the gospel. For a couple thousand years now, Christians have been writing books to help their brothers and sisters enjoy and savor the richness of the gospel. All of us can make time to read and study good gospel books for our edification and sanctification. We live among a thousand distractions, and we waste a lot of time watching TV, surfing the internet, or searching through social media. If we are going to saturate our  minds in the gospel, then we are going to have to make time to read gospel rich books, and thankfully there are many to choose from. In a future blog post I will list some that I recommend.

Sadly, the Christian community has also produced some really terrible books that actually twist the gospel, minimize it, ignore it, or flat out deny it. Let me end this blog post by pointing you to another blog that will be helpful to you as you think about reading good gospel books. Here is the video:

Unity doesn't mean Uniformity and Disagreement doesn't mean Division

One of the greatest blessings in my life over the last 10 years has been the close, encouraging relationships that God has given me with other pastors in my town. The past few days I have had the opportunity to enjoy several conversations and interactions with many of my pastor friends, and it has been very refreshing for me.

Sadly, years ago, before I began my ministry in my current church, I was influenced to see other churches and pastors as competitors instead of co-laborers in the Kingdom. I thought I was to celebrate when people joined my church from other local churches, as if I was better or had won some sort of victory over my enemy. If a church in town was struggling, I was encouraged to see that as an opportunity to get some of those folks in my church, instead of praying for that church to heal and be revived. We were taught to "smell blood in the water" and to act accordingly. After all, the bigger the church the more proof that God is at work, right? At least, that is what I thought.

But that was a long time ago, and by God’s grace I no longer think that way. Today my best friends are many of those who pastor other churches in my town, and even are a part of different denominations and have different doctrinal beliefs about secondary issues. We pray together, laugh together, and serve together. We have cried together, shared our burdens and struggles, and walked with each other through the highs and the lows of life and ministry. We even argue and have theological debates from time to time. I have turned to them for advice when I was stuck or confused. I have entrusted the burdens of my heart to them when I was in a crisis, and the only way I could do that was because I trusted them, and I knew that they loved me and would not use my struggle for their gain. And likewise, my brothers have shared those things with me. There is a sweet unity among most of my pastor brothers and among the churches of my town that I have not experienced in any other place that I have served. 

That's why a couple of Sundays ago it was a genuine joy for us as a congregation to fervently pray for the gospel success of not only our local church family, but for the other churches in our town as well. It's why in a couple of weeks over 15 different churches will partner together to reach out to our community with the gospel of Christ in a community-wide outreach event, as well as something called Unite Tonight, which is a youth outreach event with multiple different churches partnering to pull it off. It's why we are able to share resources, hold each other accountable, and enjoy meals together for no other reason than we love one another and truly want THE Church, not only our church, to saturate our town with the gospel of Jesus.

Several days ago I was chatting with a fellow pastor and I shared with him that I was thankful for his church and ministry, which is much different than the one I’m a part of. He asked me if I really meant that. Of course! Not only that, our town needs 50 more churches if we are going to reach our community with the gospel. And if 50 guys moved to town to plant churches, we would pray for them as well, that they would have great gospel fruit in our town, and we would thank God for expanding the gospel witness in our little corner of the world.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. Theology, doctrine, and biblical interpretation are important, and there are some significant differences among us. I happen to think that some of those difference matter a lot, and I also think it is healthy and helpful to talk about them. Sometimes those differences are going to be sharp among believers. But—and this is the thing that I’ve learned—unity doesn't mean uniformity and disagreement doesn't mean division.

I praise the Lord for putting some strong, loving, gospel brothers and fellow pastors in my life as a reminder of the power of the gospel to unify us in the mission. In spite of our differences, I don’t know a single pastor who has made denominational affiliation a test of fellowship. Or a worship style. Or a secondary doctrinal issue. I praise God for this, and I believe this is a much more powerful witness to the gospel in our community than some might believe.

Let me encourage you to pray for your local church, that they would be a gospel-preaching and gospel-going people. Pray that your pastor would long to be a co-laborer instead of a competitor, and that he would have encouraging relationships with the other pastors in his town. And while you are at it, as you drive around your town, every time you pass a church pray for them. Pray for the pastor and the people, and ask the Lord to use that flock to advance the gospel in your town. When you meet a new or old friend for lunch, and the subject of church comes up, don’t say, “You really need to come to my church…we love it!” Instead say, “I’m thankful you are being used of the Lord to advance the Kingdom through your local church. Isn’t it awesome that even though we are different, we are unified in the mission?”

How good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell in unity (Psalm 133:1). Yes, it is.

How to "Rescue" Your Church

I am in the process of cleaning out a ton of junk that I have horded in my office for the past 10 years. There are two file cabinets full of folders that are full of paper that I haven't looked at for a decade, so I'm sorting through it all and throwing away most of it. But, there are a few things I'm interested in keeping, so I have been scanning a lot of these things/articles/sermons into my Evernote account.

Anyway, I came across a blog post that I printed out and kept from 2012. It was entitled "How to rescue your church in three weeks," and was written by a pastor from Nashville, TN. There are times in the church, whether you are a pastor or a member, that things may seem different or difficult in how the church functions, communicates, or makes decisions. The more people that are connected means the more opportunity there is ministry and mission, but also for misunderstanding. Sadly, there are a lot of churches that go through a season of conflict or discontent--not over gospel proclamation, doctrine, or doing more in the mission, but over personal preferences. There are times when we interpret our desire to see our personal preferences met as a "rescue mission." Some might actually believe that the church is going to die or be greatly hurt if things are not handled the way they would like them to be handled.

I thought I would share the article with you in it's entirety. These are not my own words (although I added a few here and there), but there is some wisdom here for all of us:

So, how does one go about "rescuing" their church in three weeks?

Week One:

Walk into your church this Sunday and think about how long you've been a member, how much you've sacrificed, and how under-appreciated you are. Take note of every way you are dissatisfied with your church now--from the music, the sermon, the way decisions are made and communicated, and any other thing that bothers you. Take note of every person, especially any of the leadership, who displeases you in some way. Take note of all the new people whose presence is changing your church. Especially note how things have changed from "the way it used to be."

Meet for coffee next week with another member and "share your heart." Discuss how much the church has changed, and how you (and you are certain that others) are feeling left out and disconnected. Ask your friend if they resonate with this, and if they or other members might have the same "concerns." Agree together that you must "pray about it."

Week Two:

Send an email to a few other "concerned" members that you have identified. Inform them that a growing sense of unhappiness and grievance seems to be occurring among many members in the church. It appears that many problems have either been ignored or unaddressed for too long. Ask them to keep the matter to themselves for "the sake of the body."

As complaints come in, form them into a petition to demand an accounting from the leaders of the church. Circulate the petition quietly. Gathering support will be easy. Even happy members can be used if you appeal to their sense of unfairness--that your side at least deserves a hearing. Be sure to proceed in a way that is affirmed by the governing documents of the church so that you will be procedurally correct.

Week Three:

When the growing concern reaches critical mass, confront the pastor(s)/leaders with your demands. Inform them of the woundedness in the church, which leaves you no choice but to put your petition forward. Inform them that, for the sake of reconciliation, the concerns of the body must be satisfied. Be sure to indicate that too much is at stake for this to be ignored. A subtle, kind threat will usually get their attention to your concerns.

Whatever happens from this point on, you have won. You have changed the subject in your church from gospel advance to your own negativity and personal preference. To some degree, you will get your way. Your church will need some measure of time to recover--it could take months or years. But at any future time, you can do it again and keep your church exactly where you want it. It only takes three weeks.

Christmas Gifts

As of this writing, there are only 17 shopping days left until Christmas morning. Years ago, before I got married, I used to do all my shopping on Christmas Eve, which was something my dad would do from time to time when we were growing up. It was exciting to run through the mall on Christmas Eve trying to buy the best of whatever was left.

Just about everybody gives and receives gifts during this season. Some say that it is a tradition that goes all the way back to the wise men who gave gifts to Jesus. Maybe. But we believe that Christmas itself is really about the gift that God gave the world when He gave His one and only Son for us. At this time of year, our hearts shout with the Apostle Paul, "Thanks be to God for His inexpressible gift!" (2 Cor. 9:15) So, in some ways, our giving of gifts is a natural response to the gift of Jesus, as well as His gracious act of self-giving when He laid aside His glory and was born into the human race.

So, it is good for us to give gifts, especially when the foundation of this giving is to reflect the grace and glory of Christ and to do so with a heart of worship and gratitude. With that in mind, knowing that you have probably already bought all your Christmas gifts, let me suggest a couple of gifts you might consider giving this year.

1. Lottie Moon Christmas Offering. Each year Southern Baptist churches take up a voluntary offering to support our international missionaries who serve all over the globe. Every penny given to this offering goes to the needs of the missionaries on the field. But there are other ways to give towards the spread of the gospel. There are various gospel and mission projects that you can support. Our family usually gives towards a few of these in honor of a family member. Then when we get together we simply give them a card that tells them that a gift in their honor has been given to fund the spread of the gospel. Or you can give directly to humanitarian needs as a part of your mission giving.

2. Local mission partners. There are several organizations that are doing necessary and important ministry to serve the needs of community. I would encourage you to consider making a financial gift or donation to Pregnancy Care Center of Denver, NC. You may consider doing more than just giving money...you could become a volunteer! You might also consider making a gift to the DBC Mission Scholarship fund to help many people go on a mission trip next year!

3. Other missionaries and church planters. There have been several people that have either been sent out from our church, or who we have gotten to know over the years, who have given their life to living on mission, planting churches, and making a great sacrifice for the cause of the gospel. You might want to consider becoming a prayer/financial partner with them! If you need information on specific individuals or church plants, leave me a comment and I will connect with you.

4. The ESV Reader's Bible. This is a fantastic Bible! I purchased it a little while back and it has become a favorite for me. It is the Bible written as a book. There are no chapters or verses, which make it not only easy to read, but engaging as well.

5. Behold the Lamb. This is hands down my favorite Christmas album. It tells the Christmas story from the Passover all the way through the birth, death and resurrection of Christ.

6. Books to grow you in the gospel. I am a firm believer that we need to read more, and to read good, soul encouraging, gospel saturated, mind engaging books. If you were thinking about getting a book for someone, here is a short list of some I recommend: Knowing God (J.I. Packer); Making Sense of God (Timothy Keller); The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert (Rosaria Butterfield); Onward: Engaging the Culture without Losing the Gospel (Russell Moore); John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace (Jonathon Aitken); Seeking Jesus, Finding Allah (Nabeel Qureshi); The Insanity of God (Nik Ripken); The Enemy Within (Kris Lundgaard); and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors (Voddie Baucham).

7. A Good Devotional. This is always a good gift to give at Christmas time. I have been using New Morning Mercies and it has been a good one. I also read through some of The Song of Jesus, which I would also recommend.

8. A passport. Of course, this doesn't sound like an exciting gift...but it could be a life-changing one! In fact, it would be far greater to give your kid a passport this Christmas and begin to pray with them about going on an overseas mission trip, than giving them something that will break in 2 hours, or that they will lose interest in by the end of the day. A passport would make a great stocking stuffer!

Well, there's my list. Hope it is helpful to you if you are still looking for gifts. If not, save it for next year. Happy shopping!

Are You Not Entertained?

"Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?"

The above quote is from the movie Gladiator starring Russell Crowe, who plays a gladiator named Maximus. In one memorable scene, Maximus enters a crowded arena and kills several opponents in just a few moments. After his last opponent falls he turns to the crowd and utters the famous line about being entertained.

That movie might be fictional and set in ancient Rome, but our hearts go through life asking that same question: "Am I entertained? Isn't this why I'm here?"

The origin of this word is from Old Middle English and it means, "to hold mutually." Apparently, the Old Middle English word is derived from a French word which is derived from a Latin word, which is actually two words put together: inter- and -tenere.

Inter- basically means, "between or among." Think about the word intercede. That means that someone gets between two parties in order to restore something. Or the word interject, where someone throws a remark between or among other conversation. Someone might interfere, meaning that they get among the concerns of others without their approval. You get the point.

The word -tenere means "to hold, or keep" and is where we get our English word "tenet," which refers to a belief or strong opinion that someone holds tightly to as true, or a belief that they keep close to them.

So, when you entertain someone, you are keeping someone among you. There is a mutuality to it, so both parties are involved.

This is why when your parents had company over when you were growing up, they called it "entertaining." If you look closely at the word "entertain," you will see the word "enter" and the word "in." You enter into my life, and I enter into yours, and in that space there is hospitality, grace, kindness, love, edifying conversation, laughter and edifying relationship.

This is why your mom put out the fine china and fixed a superstar meal. It is why she had you light a few candles and turn on some soothing music. When our parents entertained company, they did this to say, "You are worth the fuss. You matter to us, and we are thankful you are in our lives." Isn't that a beautiful picture?

But it isn't always about people. It can also be about ideas. We entertain certain thoughts and truths, meaning that we allow the exchange of ideas among us, and figure out which ones we will keep and which ones we will discard. We listen to an idea and take it into consideration.

Somewhere along the way, though, the word "entertain" became synonymous with the word "amuse." When we think of entertainment today, we are really thinking of amusement. Instead of selflessly giving of yourself to another, and inviting others to enter into your space, it became the selfish, individualist seeking of pleasure. Instead of engaging the mind to think about concepts and ideas, it became about the emotions, what someone felt or experienced.

The reason this matters is that our culture keeps asking the question: "Am I amused? Am I having a good time? Is this an emotionally moving experience I am having? Isn't that what life is all about?" The result is a society that values self-expression over self-sacrifice, getting rather than giving, being served rather than serving, and feeling rather than thinking. Every one is chasing that all elusive experience that will amuse them, make them feel good, and scratch their self-focused itch.

We've come a long way from the mutually holding of each other together to express love, gratitude, conversation and the exchange of ideas with grace and hospitality.

Sadly, from my point of view as a pastor, this same mindset is dominating many in the church. We want the pastor to entertain us, meaning, "Move us. Make us laugh. Make us cry. Make us feel something...some passion, some joy, some life, something." We want the music to amuse us. "Sing something that moves me, that makes my hands go up, that blows me away, that gives me chills. Play it loud. Play it soft. Play it long...just long enough to absorb me into it."

"I don't want to think. Just feel. I don't want to give, just take. I don't want to serve, just sit. And above all else, I want to be able to hear my kids say, 'I had fun...it was so entertaining.'"

Goose bumps seem more sought after than the gospel these days in the modern church. "Let me figure out what is true, you just make me feel good about myself." A little less Bible, and a little more me. Or at least make every story and passage in the Bible about me.

Because of the cultural redefinition of "entertainment," we expect our pastors and worship leaders to entertain us, in the modern sense of the word, and many of them feel that pressure to figure out how to outdo last week and increase their entertainment value. After all, isn't that what the people want? So we ask our questions: Wasn't the music awesome? Did he wow you with his sermon? Don't you think everyone needs to come and hear him preach? Isn't he amazing? We never know what he's going to do next. He's like a magician or something with all those props, and a comedian with all those jokes. (Sadly, he has made the Bible disappear in his act, and turned the pulpit into a joke. But we are nonetheless entertained!)

I realize I'm being a little over the top. But it does deeply concern me, how we judge sermons, ministries, and churches on how much or little we are entertained, I mean amused/moved/wowed, by them.

In truth, I want to pastor an entertaining church. I really do. Where people invite others in to their lives for mutual encouragement in the gospel. Where people challenge themselves to think deeply about the truths of the gospel, and let that fuel their emotions. Where people are welcomed to entertain the ideas of the gospel, and wrestle with truth in a safe environment full of love and absent of emotionalism and manipulation. And especially where Jesus is always the guest of honor in our Sunday gatherings, and where we desire to serve Him well, because He is worth all the fuss.

The Stress of Life and the Sympathy of our King

"Since we then have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who win every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."  Hebrews 4:14-16

I celebrated my 49th birthday last month. I have been alive on this earth almost half a century, and in those years I have seen and experienced so much stuff. Being a pastor has given me a front row seat to a lot of joy and a lot of pain. You figure out at some point along the way that life is hard, unfair, and sometimes cruel. But, if you live long enough, say, 49 years or so, then you also figure out that no matter how bad it gets, the sun is coming up in the morning. You find that over time you've been able to walk this hard road of life without falling apart of being crushed. You watch others endure some of the greatest stresses and sufferings of life, and they make it through. And the sun comes up the next day.

Figuring this out does a couple of things to a person's heart. First, it can settle it down. We panic less, become more patient, knowing that this too will pass. But second, it also can stiffen our hearts. We might have more patience, but we have less compassion. "Stop your whining! Don't you know the sun is coming up tomorrow?"

My guess is that this might be why the older we get the meaner we seem to be. Our culture seems to depict older folks as crabby, difficult, calloused, complaining and hard. "Hey you kids...get off my lawn!" Not everyone, of course. Just a few older people I know.

I have found myself becoming that person more and more. But I will tell you what is breaking up that concrete--my kids. It is one thing to go through the disappointments of life, to feel the pressure and stress of trying to live in this world, and attempting to walk through the mine field on your own. It is something altogether to agonize as your kids do it.

It will melt your heart.

You watch as a friend betrays them. Or they fail a test they just knew they would pass. Maybe they get cut from the team. Not invited to the birthday party. Their little heart gets broken. You watch their innocence polluted by this dirty world. They fight and lose against sin.

What does a parent do in those moments? You hug your kid and tell them you hate that things are tough. You listen to them. You cry for and with them. You remind them with words and silence that you love them. You hang out with them. Buy a milkshake. And you ache in the deepest part of you as you pray for them. You sympathize with them.

As an adult who is getting older and crabbier I might say to myself and want to say to other adults, "Tough luck...buck up buddy. Life stinks; deal with it. The sun is coming up tomorrow, so get over it." But as a parent I am moved with compassion in a way that only a parent can understand.

As a Christian, I am motivated by the truth that Jesus sympathizes with me in the midst of my stress. He doesn't say, "Nobody promised you that life would be fair! Why are you entitled to an easy life? The sun is coming up tomorrow, so stop your whining, straighten your hair, and march back into this mean old world."

No. He is my King, Great High Priest, and also my big brother. He loves me in the midst of my despair and disappointment. He understands. He calls me to cast my cares upon Him because He truly does care for me. He invites me to come near to Him and receive mercy and grace. He sympathizes.

There is a lot of theology behind this--incarnation, hypostatic union, imago dei, etc. Plenty of sermons in there as well. But first, there is sympathy. "We love Him because He first loved us." How do we know He loves us? "God has demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Let the sermons come; let the prophets speak the truth. But let it come after we sit for a while in His merciful presence. Let it come after we drink in the calming truth of His Word. Let it come after we first love one another, care for one another, and weep with those who weep.

Lord, don't let me heart get so calloused that I'm unable to ache for those around me. Give me Your heart.